The CSI: Miami Drinking Game
I … remember when CSI: Miami used to be … if not great, pretty good, Alexx. But … at some point … in its first season … it turned into CSI: David Caruso.
And … was a stinker, on top of that. (NYPD: David Caruso was much better and … had nudity, Detective Sipowicz.)
There may be … a worse show on television, Mr. Wolfe … but those involved … should be in jail.
So here … in recognition of the … worst-written … worst-acted … show on network television … is the CSI: Miami Drinking Game, Ms. Duquesne. I’m sorry about your alcoholic DA father.
- Horatio puts on or takes off his sunglasses: Take a sip
- Horatio … pauses unnaturally … while talking: Take a sip
- Horatio openly lusts for his brother’s wife: Take a sip
- Horatio lowers his head: Take a sip
- Horatio talks while refusing to look at someone: Take a sip
- Horatio puts his hands on his hips: Take a sip
- Someone calls Horatio “H”: Take a sip
- Horatio calls someone “my friend”: Take a sip
- Horatio makes a solemn promise to a victim or a victim’s relative: Take a sip
- Horatio saves someone from a bomb, sniper or natural disaster: Take a sip
- A good guy looks at Horatio with adoration: Take a sip
- A bad guy glares at Horatio: Take a sip
- A bad guy threatens Horatio: Take a sip
- Horatio’s “dead” brother Raymond is mentioned: Take a sip
- Someone mentions Horatio’s troubled New York past: Take a sip
- Cheesy line, Roger Daltry screams “YEAH!” and the opening credits roll: Finish your drink
- Horatio’s brother’s wife, Yelina, shows cleavage: Take a sip
- Eric Delko acts tough and/or troubled: Take a sip
- Someone refuses to give Ryan Wolfe the benefit of the doubt: Take a sip
- Calleigh Duquesne’s father is in a scene: Take a sip
- Alexx Woods talks to a dead person: Take a sip
- Detective Frank Tripp looks pissed: Take a sip
- We see girls in bikinis: Take a sip
- We see girls in a night club: Take a sip
- We see someone having sex in a flashback: Take a sip
- We see someone taking drugs in a flashback: Take a sip
- We see a department-owned Humvee: Take a sip
- Someone talks in a thick accent: Take a sip
- Something explodes: Take a sip
- Amazingly, a case turns out to have a link to Horatio: Finish your drink
And the evidence … never lies, my friend.
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This show is almost become a parody of itself. I feel like they should put “Ray Ban” in the credits. Those shades are as much a part of the show as all the other actors.
Comment by JR — January 18, 2006 @ 13:41
… the whole show is really just Batman meets Miami Vice. Caine is Bats, always dressed in dark clothes, always grim and monotone, doing detective work in a dark hi-tech cave, driving a BatHummer, and aided by his Batfamily analogues. Don’t watch the show enough to tell you who is Robin versus Batgirl versus Alfred or any of the other hangers-on that have been in the cominc. Speed seemed to be Jason Todd, Kayleigh is either Dick or Babs, etc.
Of course, my wife thought I was crazy when I realized all this. But then again, you might as well.
John
Comment by John Bartol — January 19, 2006 @ 10:58
PS – As much as I like, for reasons I can’t explain, David Caruso as an actor, he is the New Shatner.
Just imagine what his cover of “Rocket Man” will sound like.
J
Comment by John Bartol — January 19, 2006 @ 10:59
Does that mean, when he’s old and fat, he’ll rehabilitate his image with hilarious self-parody commercials, an amazing CD and Emmy victories for his comic/dramatic turn as an aging legend?
And if so, can we just fast-forward to that stage of his career? Please?
Comment by Beau — January 19, 2006 @ 11:29
I tried this drinking game the other night, when my wife was watching the show. I passed out before the second commercial break.
Comment by Guumbah — January 20, 2006 @ 8:29
Yea! Those are fabulous. I posted a couple of Law and Order drinking games a couple of years ago on my blog as well:
http://kungfukitten.diaryland.com/illhavegin.html
Comment by kungfukitten — January 20, 2006 @ 23:17
This game is great! We watched CSI Miami because it was so bad it’s funny, but add the drinking game and a few mates and you have yourself a party! Great fun!
Comment by Liz — February 27, 2007 @ 8:32
I like the show
Comment by shauna gouthro — May 4, 2007 @ 9:18
i think if ryan wolfe is not in csi miami the show will be faiel
Comment by noorain — May 19, 2007 @ 13:17