Where you get your news and what it says about you
Jenn got this via e-mail, and a quick look at Google shows that it’s all over, so determining its origin would be difficult at this point.
1. The “Wall Street Journal” is read by the people who run the country.
2. The “Washington Post” is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The “New York Times” is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. “USA Today” is read by people who think they maybe ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. “The Los Angeles Times” is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country — if they could find the time — and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The “Boston Globe” is read by people whose ancestors used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The “New York Daily News” is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The “New York Post” is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The “Miami Herald” is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The “San Francisco Chronicle” is read by people who aren’t sure anyone runs the country, but if they find out who does, they oppose all them. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist, and also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The “National Enquirer” is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. Nothing is read by the guy who is running this country.
Having lived in Washington and having lived in Southern California, it would take a hell of a great incentive for me to ever move back there. (This is your cue, Washington Post.)
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The original title I got via the email was “who reads,” so I gave it a better headline for obvious reasons if you still want to track down the origins.
Comment by Jenn — April 9, 2007 @ 15:57