LBY3
The continuing adventures of Beau Yarbrough

Bad, bad baby names

Monday, July 2, 2007, 19:27
Section: Miscellany

When I was temping at a certain major health insurance firm, we used to call out terrible children’s’ names, in violation of HIPAA laws. My worst was a family with three children: Neo, Morpheus and Trinity. They didn’t even wait to find out the second and third Matrix movies were dogs before saddling their kids with those.

Such sport has its place on the Internet, as does everything, it seems: Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing. (Bonus points for the Chris Isaak reference.)

Some winning entries, if that’s the right word:

I love the Lord, am a LDS woman, and would like to name my baby baby Jesus.

My husband says this is ridiculous because we are not latino and he does not even go to church anymore. I looked and it is a popular name in the US so it must be that others like me are out there spreading His love. His full name would be “Jesus Joseph Dewey”. Can any one tell me if when you are at the hospital can you refuse to let your husband have a say in what the birth certificate says? I 18 years old and am a first time mom.

I am having this baby boy on Aug 6. Dad and I love Alexander Scott but our last name is Smith. Will the initals be a huge problem? We don’t want him to be teased.

I like the name Jayden for a girl and Jaden for a boy. I’m also thinking of other bisexual names.

(And no, Jenn hasn’t had the baby yet, and no, I’m not getting Twitter to keep you updated 24/7. I am prepared to announce we’re naming him Rockstar Danger Yarbrough, though.)


4 Comments »

  1. “I 18 years old and am a first time mom.”

    Oh, I was laughing out loud at that first one, and then I read that and felt guilty about it….

    Comment by Jeff Hamilton — July 2, 2007 @ 20:45

  2. I grew up with a kid named Peter Enis, whose name would often be shortened to “P Enis” on school forms and such…

    We were merciless. Last I heard, he officially had it changed when he was 18 to add an extra ‘n’.

    Comment by Stephen — July 2, 2007 @ 22:40

  3. This is my favorite line so far:

    “I am due in November, I just got pregnant. I am having quadruplets! Wow, that’s a lot of kids. I am having four girls and one boy.”

    Comment by Widge — July 3, 2007 @ 12:05

  4. How about George Arthur Yarbrough (G.A.Y.)? People have called me “Gay Day,” and it’s not all that bad. “Sweet Pete” sometimes gets to me though. LBY4 is still the best though.

    Comment by Peter Day — July 7, 2007 @ 16:12

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

(required)

(required)


 








Copyright © Beau Yarbrough, all rights reserved
Veritas odit moras.