The Greatest [NPR] Story Ever E-mailed

Let me ‘splain. … No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

E-Mail This Story: Of Kittens, Quinoa & Ron Paul

Every day on The Bryant Park Project we do a segment called “The Most,” where we bring you some of the most e-mailed, most viewed, and generally most noticed stories on the Web. We often feature a piece from NPR.org’s Most E-mailed Stories list in the process, but since we’re the low show on the totem pole, we too rarely find ourselves on there.

To encourage as many people as possible to do this, I’ve studied the types of stories that appear frequently on the list and incorporated as many of their key elements as possible. After substantial research I’ve concluded that the following topics are the cornerstones of NPR’s Most E-mailed articles:

* Food stories and recipes
* Neti pots (These ancient homeopathic devices are used for nasal irrigation. A story about them was #1 most e-mailed for 2007.)
* Star Wars
* Student life
* Scientific discoveries
* Quinoa (the super grain)
* NPR’s esteemed science correspondent Robert Krulwich
* The classical arts (theater/opera/symphonic music)
* Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul
* “This I Believe” pieces (stories of personal tragedy/loss and the overcoming of said loss)

With these popular topics in mind, I present the following NPR piece.

You can read or hear the full story at the link. It’s an excellent NPR parody, although not quite as good as the classic Saturday Night Live bit with Alec Baldwin.

And now there’s a follow-up:

NPR Most E-Mailed Stories (Any Day):

1. How [Guy] Uses His Church For [Not-Entirely-Sacred Purpose]
2. Making A Tasty Salad From [Blank], [Pun Word Related To “Blank”]-Style
3. [Foreign Word] [Foreign Word] [Foreign Word] Isn’t What You Think
4. When Your [Area Of The Body] Itches
5. How Nail Polish Remover Is Killing The Fish Of [Country]
6. Getting Your Boneheaded Kids To [Ancient Art Form]
7. Change Comes To The [Thing You’ve Never Heard Of]
8. [Disgraced/Disrespected/Hobbled Musician] Returns With Soaring “[Word From Title Of Song]”
9. Halting [Disease] With [Kind Of Dancing]
10. Teach Your Dog To Play [Board Game]
11. The Dramatic Tale Of The [Mundane Thing]
12. My [Family Member], My [Sturdy Object]
13. [Unlikely Concept]? [Declaration Of Certainty]!
14. [Powerful Institution] To [Upstart]: “Not So Fast”
15. Earth’s [Characteristic Of Planet] Threatened By New [Cosmetic Or Food]
16. [Long-Forgotten Writer] Returns With [Soon-Forgotten Book]
17. A Garden Of [Abstract Concept]
18. Don’t Ignore That [Type Of Blemish]
19. Rediscovering The Humble [Household Object]: From Junk Drawer To [Other Place Starting With “J”]
20. In [Country], Saving The [Kind Of Bird] Takes [Virtue]
21. A Videogame Where [Social Ill] Is The Real Enemy
22. Three Cheers For The [Kind Of Flower]: Is It Pollen Its Weight In Your Garden?
23. [Incredibly Serious International Incident]
24. Sowing The Seeds Of [Desired Outcome] In The Fertile Soil Of [Kind Of Children]
25. It’s A Purr-fect Time To Vaccinate Against [Cat Ailment]

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>