Josh’s cancer
Given how this blog began, it seems appropriate to eavesdrop again on Josh Friedman’s great blog, which had been about anything but cancer, but life tossed the screenwriter a major plot-twist, unbidden:
I do not believe in God, and I do not believe in fate. The last two months have been tough on this particular atheist, but as an infinite monkey I have little choice but to bow down to the powers of natural selection and mutation, even when it’s happening inside my own body. There are those who suggest a greater power must be looking out for me. But the greatest power I know was doing last minute post-production on Munich so I didn’t bother calling on him, either.
I do believe in poker. I was addicted to cards, and so I quit. But they converted me to their ways. I believe in math, random chance, probability, and mostly, luck. Professional card players understand that poker is short-term luck (good and bad) eventually balanced out by long-term skill. Living, more likely, is long-term luck balanced out with occasional bouts of short-term skill. In this case, the luck is all mine and the skill belongs to those who found my tumor and took it out.
I did not fight cancer and I certainly did not beat cancer. One night cancer came and grabbed me hard by the arm, yanked me down the stairs and stood over me on the landing while I begged for mercy and waited for the rain of blows to come. Some did, enough for me to know I couldn’t have withstood the whole barrage.
And then without explanation it disappeared. And let me live. Like some monsters do.
Incidentally, if you don’t normally read I find your lack of faith disturbing, it’s probably the most interesting blog out there, for my money. Other than, you know, mine, which is riveting.
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