LBY3
The continuing adventures of Beau Yarbrough

B.E.A.U.

Saturday, September 10, 2005, 0:01
Section: Miscellany


Biomechanical Electronic Assassination Unit

Damn skippy.

  • Elsewhere on the Internet, an astonishing tribute to New Orleans by Laura Misch, a former Playboy Bunny (and Miss February 1975NSFW) who lived there in the 1970s. Well worth sitting through the Salon Site Pass ad to read. (I always knew that Playboy Playmates were really articulate and intelligent, no matter what anyone might say!)

    I don’t believe New Orleans is gone for good. For one thing, dealing with watery tragedy is something that people on the Gulf Coast are used to — while the aftermath of Katrina is horrible, I suspect its horror looks a lot worse to those unused to hurricanes, like my wife.

    Secondly, New Orleans is too much of a tourist destination to not be rebuilt by various hustlers, crooks and stubborn old SOBs, which is approximately the same set of ingredients that gave us the original New Orleans (although New Orleans has flooded and burned down more than once in the past).

    And finally, I haven’t seen it yet. It’s yet another thing that I’ve put off seeing, even though I really want to visit, because “it’ll be there.” You’d think I’ve had learned my lesson when I turned down a chance to see the Berlin Wall (oops), visit the Soviet Union (oops) or see the Grateful Dead in concert (oops).

    No more delays: When they reopen for business, I’ll be bringing my tourist dollars to help with the effort.



  • The magic blog word

    Wednesday, September 7, 2005, 22:14
    Section: Miscellany

    Technorati is a dangerous tool, akin to the ability to pop open a million vapid Instant Messenger conversations and read them anonymously and secretly.

    Amazingly, spammers have found a way to clog it, as they clog all search engines, with apparently machine-generated blogs about whatever keyword you might type in.

    Well, almost any keyword.

    Want to read real blogs from real people, bitching about their love life, work life, home life, whatever? (You know you do, in a train wreck sort of way, let’s not pretend otherwise.) I found the magic word. (Warning: By definition, many of the links off that page will be NSFW.)



    Hell comes to New Orleans

    Thursday, September 1, 2005, 16:14
    Section: Miscellany

    As someone who has openly pined to go work at a New Orleans paper (especially the wonderfully named Times-Picayune), I watch what Hurricane Katrina has done to the city with an extra level of horror. What if I’d been there? What would happen to me or, more importantly, my wife?

    Reports from there are like looking into the mouth of Hell itself. From the Associated Press, via Yahoo! News:

    Some Federal Emergency Management rescue operations were suspended in areas where gunfire has broken out, Homeland Security spokesman Russ Knocke said in Washington. “In areas where our employees have been determined to potentially be in danger, we have pulled back,” he said.

    A National Guard military policeman was shot in the leg as he and a man scuffled for the MP’s rifle, police Capt. Ernie Demmo said. The man was arrested.

    “These are good people. These are just scared people,” Demmo said.

    Outside the Convention Center, the sidewalks were packed with people without food, water or medical care, and with no sign of law enforcement. Thousands of storm refugees had been assembling outside for days, waiting for buses that did not come.

    At least seven bodies were scattered outside, and hungry people broke through the steel doors to a food service entrance and began pushing out pallets of water and juice and whatever else they could find.

    An old man in a chaise lounge lay dead in a grassy median as hungry babies wailed around him. Around the corner, an elderly woman lay dead in her wheelchair, covered with a blanket, and another body lay beside her wrapped in a sheet.

    “I don’t treat my dog like that,” 47-year-old Daniel Edwards said as he pointed at the woman in the wheelchair. “I buried my dog.” He added: “You can do everything for other countries but you can’t do nothing for your own people. You can go overseas with the military but you can’t get them down here.”

    The street outside the center, above the floodwaters, smelled of urine and feces, and was choked with dirty diapers, old bottles and garbage.

    “They’ve been teasing us with buses for four days,” Edwards said.

    People chanted, “Help, help!” as reporters and photographers walked through. The crowd got angry when journalists tried to photograph one of the bodies, and covered it over with a blanket. A woman, screaming, went on the front steps of the convention center and led the crowd in reciting the 23rd Psalm.

    John Murray, 52, said: “It’s like they’re punishing us.”

    The Superdome, where some 25,000 people were being evacuated by bus to the Houston Astrodome, descended into chaos as well.

    Huge crowds, hoping to finally escape the stifling confines of the stadium, jammed the main concourse outside the dome, spilling out over the ramp to the Hyatt hotel next door — a seething sea of tense, unhappy, people packed shoulder-to-shoulder up to the barricades where heavily armed National Guardsmen stood.

    At the front of the line, heavily armed policemen and guardsmen stood watch and handed out water as tense and exhausted crowds struggled onto buses. At the back end of the line, people jammed against police barricades in the rain. Luggage, bags of clothes, pillows, blankets were strewn in the puddles.

    Many people had dogs and they cannot take them on the bus. A police officer took one from a little boy, who cried until he vomited. “Snowball, snowball,” he cried. The policeman told a reporter he didn’t know what would happen to the dog.

  • Click here to donate to the Red Cross Hurricane 2005 Relief efforts.
  • More hurricane news from Google News.


  • Jonah goes to China

    Tuesday, August 30, 2005, 19:24
    Section: Miscellany

    My boy Jonah — the man who introduced me to Mongolian barbecue — has gone on a seemingly presidential-length vaction to China and is blogging it regularly. Ch-check it out.



    Take command of your elevator car

    Monday, August 29, 2005, 17:38
    Section: Miscellany

    OK, this is wrong on so many levels, but I know I won’t be able to resist it: You can force an Otis elevator to go to just the floor you want, without stopping off at any others where people are requesting an elevator. Press the floor you want simultaneously with the Close Door button and, apparently, it’ll ignore the other floor requests and make your elevator an express to the floor you want.

    Now I know of a free fun activity when I go to New York City next month.

  • I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but the Otis Web site is probably the most boring site on the entire Internet.

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    Veritas odit moras.